NASA asks the Wilson family to stay six months at the Mars Desert Research Station in the Mojave Desert.
The Wilsons will simulate living on the red planet to see how well a family can work together in a small confined environment. No sweat for this tight-knit family.
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Picture Above My Desk

I received this If postcard long ago. It took me years to find the If wall in the Children's Corner of Forest Lawn Cemetery.

Class out of control? Will no regular substitute dare enter the fourth-grade classroom? It's time to press the red button under the office clock to summon Miss Subway, the substitute of last resort. This sub has the right gadgets in her canvas bag to put the fourth-graders back in order.
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"Round the world! There is much in that sound to inspire proud feelings; but whereto does all that circumnavigation conduct? Only through numberless perils to the very point whence we started." Ishmael in Moby-Dick
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Punctuation

Cat claws to pause, small spots to stop.
Bats above balls tell us to shout!!!!!
Canes query? (Smiles!) What’re these keys? @#%^&.
Aren’t hangnails for leavin’ things out?

Dots... & dashes--“whiskers to talk”,
about every *l*e*t*t*e*r;
“Decorations”: for sentences-----
Don’t # they # make # this-poem-look better?
🎼Hear the song Punctuation (video) Listen and watch

How Come?

How come teachers call them blackboards,
When most are green or white?
How come teachers call reading, writing, and arithmetic the Three-R-s,
When only one starts with R?
How come teachers call it schoolwork,
When learning is supposed to be fun?
How come teacher say the school bell rang,
After a buzzer buzzed?
How come teachers say put on your thinking caps,
When hats aren’t allowed to be worn in class?

Just wondering.

Rules Day

Hallway rules,
Classroom rules,
P.E. rules,
Playground rules,
Lunchroom rules,
Bus rules,
It's Rules Day, the first day of school.
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"I always use my worst handwriting when I write a story.
That way my teacher can't tell what a poor speller I am."

"I've been so busy, I can't think of anything to write about."

Captain John Paul Jellyfish Songs

🎼Hear Jellyfish Shantylyrics
🎼Hear Maggie, My Baggielyrics
🎼Hear John Paul Jellyfishlyrics
🎼John Paul Jellyfish Medleyvideo

Drawing Above My Desk

A third-grade drawing I did of my dog, Duchess.

Dog Walking On Hind Legs
1.Great to Be Alive (video)lyrics
2.Gone Crazy About You (video)lyrics
3.Hallelujah Hank (video)lyrics
4.The Pretty One (video)lyrics
5.What I Need (video)lyrics
6.Suicide Letter (video)lyrics
7.Kanikiki (video)lyrics
8.Simple Wedding Wordslyrics

Cartoon Above My Desk

I don't remember where this cartoon came from, but it's been hanging above my desk ever since I started writing children's books.

Ocean Beaches
1.Ocean Beaches (video)lyrics
2.Whiskey in Helsinki (video)lyrics
3.Star Stomping (video)lyrics
4.Everywherelyrics
5.Manzanita (video)lyrics
6.Hot Dog Song (video)lyrics
7.Ode to Oregonians (video)lyrics
8.That Ladylyrics

Fans Upon the Hill

Those tall white fans upon the hill,
Is that what makes the day winds blow?
For when at times the fans are still,
It's fair and calm here down below.
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Pacific Ocean
Pacific Ocean has three C’s.
Sss—waves sliding off sand.
K—the crash of breakers.
Shh—the sea far away.

Download pdf
🎼Hear the song Pacific Ocean Listen

Two Fingers

Grandpa says they mean victory.
“It’s the peace sign,” my mother said.
But at school they’re called Bunny Ears,
When we hold them behind a head.
Teachers raise them to mean ‘quiet’.
Scouts raise them when their oath’s begun.
But we just raise those Bunny Ears,
When we want to have some fun.
🎼Here's the song Bunny Ears (video) Listen and watch
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U

No matter how much thinking I do,
There is no word that ends with U.
U starts many words we use,
It always trails after Q’s.
Side by side makes a W.
And that letter ends quite a few.
But who knows a word that ends in U.
Do you?
🎼Hear the song YouListen
Download pdf

🎧Listen to The Purple Reader produced by Read Me A Story, Ink.