The School Day Begins
It's Monday morning at 7:01.
You’re still half asleep; your homework’s half done.
Your shower is cold; your oatmeal’s dry.
Your mother forgets to kiss you good-bye.
You’re walking to school; it’s thirty degrees.
Your fingers won’t work; your toes and ears freeze.
Your zipper is stuck; your left sneaker squeaks.
Your backpack strap snaps; your soup thermos leaks.
You slip on school steps; you trip in the hall.
The toilet floods in the bathroom stall.
The gym door is locked; library’s the same.
The principal greets you by the wrong name.
Your classroom is hot; the coat rack is packed.
Your bean sprout is dead; your clay pot is cracked.
Your pencils are dull; the sharpener jams.
Your fingers get crunched when your desktop slams.
Your math partner’s gone; your neighbor is rude.
Your teacher’s again in a crabby mood.
The morning bell rings; it's 8:01.
Come cozy up to the whiteboard,
Another school day has begun.
🎼Hear the song The School Day Begins (video) Listen and watch
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Irene, Tetherball Queen
Like a nimble ballerina,
She'll rise onto her toes.
To swat the orb into orbit;
Around the pole it goes.
We surround the white ring,
Watching the yellow sphere.
The ball and string it's tethered to,
Like magic disappear.
She's the best kid at this game,
Our playground's ever seen.
No one in school can put her out,
Irene, Tetherball Queen.
She's neither strong or very long,
Sweet timing is her skill.
She picks her hits and knows the tricks,
To help her make a kill.
Way high and fast, the ball blows past.
She never let's it stop.
When the rope winds, the T-pole finds,
A turban at the top.
Won't make a lick of difference,
When she becomes a teen.
For now may she enjoy her rein,
Irene,Tetherball Queen.
🎼Hear the song Irene, Tetherball Queen! (video) Listen and watch
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Gone High-Tech
You may have noticed, teacher,
I am not in school today,
But the voice recorder on my desk,
Will pick up each word you say.
Switch on my laptop’s Web cam,
When you have something to show,
And if you pass out homework,
Find my fax number below.
I’ve e-mail and a smart phone,
So I won’t be hard to reach.
Since I don’t need to be in class,
I’ll do lessons at the beach.
🎼Here's the song Gone High-Tech! (video) Listen and watch
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Cuts
I gave cuts to Lena, and she gave cuts to Jim.
Jim gave cuts to Cory; Mac cut in front of him.
Mac gave cuts to Ashley, and she gave cuts to Lee.
Tom took cuts before Dawn, and she gave cuts to me.
And when we left for recess, out the classroom door,
All the kids in our line, stood where they were before.
🎼Here's the song Cuts! (video) Listen and watch
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Homework Load
Not long ago the homework load,
Did Helen little harm.
She hiked to school with one notebook,
Tucked in her little arm.
Homework increased until the girl,
Had no choice but to pack,
Binders, texts and notebooks,
In a sack strapped on her back.
But then how Helen's shoulders slumped,
Her spine started to sag.
So Helen took to pulling books,
In a wheeled luggage bag.
As Helen grew, homework did too,
And fourth grade marked the start,
Of pushing homework to and fro,
In a large shopping cart.
Soon tractors towed her homework load.
Still Helen found no luck.
Next forklifts hauled her homework,
And then a pick-up truck.
But still the work load grew and grew,
And the truck bed overran.
So sixth grade saw Helen driving home,
In a U-Haul moving van.
Helen’s homework load reached its height,
When school closed in the fall.
For teachers assigned so much work,
No kid could move at all.
🎼Hear the song Homework Load! (video) Listen and watch
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ABeeSeas*
*click here from CRICKET magazine
Writer's Workshop
Our writer's workshop follows math.
We write and work nonstop.
But writer's workshop doesn't mean,
We ever get to shop.
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Oprah, Our Opera Diva Bus Drive
She dreams of singing on the opera stage,
But for now she drives our bus.
And each day on the way to school,
She sings arias for us.
“La-la-la-la-laaaaa!”she warms up,
Folding open the school bus door.
“Me-me-meeeee!” she sings harmony,
With the bass of the motor's roar.
Riding along, she’ll belt a song,
Jaw wobbling as she grips the wheel.
Hitting the brakes, she hits high notes.
A prima donna duet squeal.
Once she wore a helmet with horns,
And warbled “Ho-jo-to-ho!”
She clutched the gear shift like a spear,
While we cheered, “BRAVO! BRAVO!”
The morning she sang Madame Butterfly,
She gave us an excellent ride,
Especially when at the end,
She grabbed her kimono and died.
Some day we'll meet her at the Met,
Now librettos lie beside her.
Riding to class is classy because,
Oprah is our diva driver.
🎼Hear the song Opra, Our Opera Diva Bus Driver! (video) Listen and watch
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Upside-Down Playground
They built the playground upside-down.
The jungle gym looks like a crown.
The tetherball still goes around,
But now it rolls along the ground.
The slide spirals into the air.
The climbing pole takes you nowhere.
The monkey bars are like train tracks.
To use them we must bend our backs.
The swings won’t swing; the rings are dead.
We get drinks standing on our head.
The ball wall did an odd flip-flop.
The play fort floor is on the top.
Basketball dunk shots are a breeze.
We start bar twirls from our knees.
It's topsy-turvy recess play.
We're glad parents built it this way.
🎼Hear the song Upside-Down Playground! (video) Listen and watch
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Teacher's Pets
For lunch we ate the hot dogs,
That chased the copy cats,
That caught the computer mouse.
That worried the spelling bee,
That stung the early birds,
That gobbled the book worms,
That they stuffed into the hot dogs,
That we ate for lunch.
Ick!
🎼Here's the song Teacher's Pets! (video) Listen and watch
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Dad’s Going To Make It
Dad phoned from the East Coast,
While waiting for a flight home.
He said that he'd make it,
To my school play tonight.
Dad phoned from an airplane,
Somewhere in the air.
Then he gave his promise,
Tonight he would be there.
Dad phoned from the airport.
His plane had landed late.
The time was six-thirty.
My play began at eight.
Dad phoned from a taxi,
Stuck in a traffic jam.
He said I was important.
I said I know I am.
Dad phoned from our kitchen.
He told me not to worry.
Ten minutes till show time.
I said he better hurry.
When the curtain went up,
On stage I searched the place,
As I spoke my first line,
I saw Dad’s smiling face.
🎼Hear the song Dad's Going to Make It! (video) Listen and watch
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Shrinking Teacher
I saw my last year’s teacher.
Had she shrunk an inch or two?
It took me time to figure out,
She was no shorter... I grew.
🎼Hear the song Shrinking Teacher! Listen
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When Chuck Threw Up
We saw Chuck bend and his shoulders hunch,
Then we saw what Chuck had had for lunch.
Lucky Chuck got to go home that day,
But in our classroom we had to stay.
🎼Hear the song When Chuck Threw Up! (video) Listen and watch
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In the Library Reading
In the library there is a nook,
Where Larry takes his favorite book,
And spends the morning like a crook,
Since that's where teachers never look,
When Larry’s in the library reading.
Fiction is what Larry reads most.
To far off lands his mind might coast.
But far too often he gets engrossed,
And forgets the things he is supposed,
To, when Larry's in the library reading.
Larry cares not what his grades are,
He never adds a books read star,
He thinks SSR is bizarre,
And book reports bore him by far.
He'd rather be in the library reading.
At the time that reading groups to meet,
The teacher saw Larry's empty seat.
"Where's, Lawrence?" she said, not sounding sweet.
Then again she heard her class repeat,
“Larry’s in the library reading.”
Down the hall teacher’s voice did chime,
As if Larry committed a crime.
“Get back to class! It is reading time!”
“Sorry,” he said. “I forget when I’m,
In the library reading.”
“Lawrence,” said teacher “It’s a concern,
When you leave class and don’t return.
A good GPA you cannot earn,
If you miss lessons and do not learn,
Larry shrugged and shook his head.
He'd not heard one word she said
But grabbed a new book instead,
Looking forward to recess ahead,
When he'd be in the library reading.
🎼Hear the song When In the Library Reading! (video) Listen and watch
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Boy With His Head Down
Miles had his head down.
He was the meanest brute.
His head was down on his desk so much,
It began taking root.
Slender shoots grew down from his ear,
Sank into the desk top.
Tiny buds sprouted from his hair,
To form a flower crop.
We all like Miles a lot better now,
But he can’t come to play.
His head was down on his desk so much,
We must water him each day.
🎼Here's the song Boy With His Head Down! (video) Listen and watch
Hans's New Clothes
Hans marched to the playground,
For the Halloween parade.
Ghosts and ghouls were lined up,
Kindergarten to fifth grade.
Music played; the line moved.
In his costume Hans felt proud,
But when he reached the field,
A hush fell on the crowd.
Parents gasped; Parents gawked.
All video cams turned off.
Some boys pointed; some girls laughed.
They could hear their teachers cough.
“Guess who I am?” Hans said.
“Now who do you suppose?
I’m from a story my class read.
Come see my fine new clothes?”
“The Emperor!” all the kids cried.
“That’s the best costume ever!”
“From Hans Anderson's tale!”
“How creative! How clever!”
Parents in the crowd scowled.
Mad shouts blared everywhere.
“Someone put clothes on that boy!
He's stark, buck-naked bare!”
🎼Hear the song Hans' New Clothes! (video) Listen and watch
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School Turkeys
The classrooms filled with turkeys,
Weeks before Thanksgiving Day.
Kindergartners traced around hands.
First-graders used paper-mâché.
Grade Two stuck feathers in pine cones.
Grade Three cut out a paper plate.
Grade Four pinned gumdrops on apples.
Grade Five stuffed bags to decorate.
We love the turkeys at our school,
So imagine how we’ll feel
Tomorrow on Thanksgiving Day,
When we’re served turkey at our meal.
🎼Hear the song School Turkeys (video) Listen and watch
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Fire Drill
Recess is a chaotic riot.
No recess is ever quiet.
When did the playground give its biggest thrill?
When we stood still in a fire drill.
I saw circles and square designs.
Passing jets drew more lines.
I saw stripes of streets on the hill,
When we stood still in a fire drill.
I heard the breeze strum tetherball strings.
I heard rattling chains on the swings.
I heard the monkey bars toot and trill,
When we stood still in a fire drill.
I felt the sunshine bounce off my nose.
I smelled tacos from the gym windows.
Who knows the wonders you miss until,
You stand still in a fire drill?
🎼Hear the song Fire Drill (video) Listen and watch
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Classroom Stew
Add broken crayons, white chalk dust,
Pencil shavings, red scissors rust.
A pinch of paste, a dab of glue,
That’s what goes into Classroom Stew.
Pour in black paint, six drops of ink.
Squeeze the sponge from the classroom sink.
Mix eraser crumbs, and hand soap goo,
That’s what goes into Classroom Stew.
Sprinkle on fish food, eight lumps of clay,
Silver glitter, paper-mâché.
Rubber cement, gum off your shoe,
That’s what goes into Classroom Stew.
Stir it well; dump it in a cup,
Toast your teacher, and bottoms up.
Hold your belly before you spew.
Then flood the floor with Classroom Stew.
🎼Hear the song Classroom Stew! (video) Listen and watch
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Bad Handwriting
Teacher says my handwriting is hard to read.
I could write neater, but I’d never tell her.
Since teacher cannot read the words I wrote,
She cannot tell I’m an even worse speller.
How Substitutes Get Work
They each have teacher voodoo dolls,
And into them pins they stick.
So when they want to work at schools,
They can make the teachers sick
🎼Hear the song Substitutes! (video) Listen and watch
Jerome's Lunch
Most kids in class bring a lunch from home.
All except one boy who’s named Jerome.
Most kids charge to lunch as if in a race.
“Why rush?” says Jerome. “I’ve reserved my place.”
A maitre d’ greets Jerome in the gym.
He bows and hands a menu to him.
“Good day, sir,” the man says, clicking his heels.
“Your chef’s prepared you a choice of fine meals.”
Jerome sits at the end of our table.
We try to ignore him, but noone is able.
China plates are set, one just for his roll,
Two spoons, four forks, and a finger bowl.
A tuxedoed man steps forward to say,
“My name is Pierre; I’m your waiter today.”
We take out sandwiches, and start to munch,
While hearing Jerome order his lunch.
“For my first course a dozen oysters, please.
Some caviar, and a wedge of brie cheese.
“I’ll try the salmon fillet, cedar grilled,
And the jumbo shrimp salad, slightly chilled.
“Pour me a glass of your finest grape juice,
And for dessert an eclair and chocolate mousse.”
Jerome’s first course comes on a tray,
He kisses fingertips like a gourmet.
With a cloth napkin tucked under his chin,
He rubs his palms and gives us a grin.
“I’m so famished,” he says. “Bon appetite.”
And raising his pinkie begins to eat.
But we eat our lunches without remorse,
As Pierre brings Jerome course after course.
“Poor kid,” we think, with a growling belly.
“Nothing beats good old peanut butter and jelly."
🎼Hear the song Jerome's Lunch! (video) Listen and watch
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Cold Hands
“My hands are sooooo cold.
My hands are sooooo cold."
The kindergartner cried.
Teacher said, “Find your pockets,
And stick your hands inside."
“I juuuuuuuuuust can’t.
I juuuuuuuuuust can’t,”
We heard the boy declare.
“There’s no room in my pockets.
My mittens are in there.”
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Teacher Gasoline
The coffee teachers constantly drink
Is what keeps teachers running, I think.
Winslow, the Wild Wheelchair Driver
Winslow whirred off in his wheelchair
When lowered from the bus.
He careened up the front door ramp,
And down the hall toward us.
We clapped and cheered as he came near.
Teachers yelled and scattered.
His chair rammed the janitor’s cart,
And ten light bulbs shattered.
He peeled off in his seat of steel.
Through the office he flew.
When he knocked the copy machine,
A thousand papers strew.
He popped a wheelie, twirling twice,
And rolled down twenty stairs.
He took a corner on two wheels,
And bowled down twenty chairs.
His wheelchair was a silver streak,
Speeding across the gym.
He struck the stage and ricocheted,
With teachers chasing him.
Winslow zoomed into his room.
Toward his desk he tore.
He yanked the brake; the tires made,
Skid marks across the floor.
Running is not allowed in school.
Now one more rule we need.
The next day signs hung in the hall:
10 MPH Maximum Speed.
🎼Hear the song Winslow the Wild Wheelchair Driver! (video) Listen and watch
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My Journal
This afternoon I wrote in my journal.
We had to write about what we did today.
I wrote about writing in my journal,
And here’s what I had to say:
This afternoon I wrote in my journal.
We had to write about what we did today.
I wrote about writing in my journal,
And here’s what I had to say:
This afternoon I wrote in my journal…
🎼Here's the song My Journal! Listen
Messy Desk Pest
Beware all you kiddies of the Messy Desk Pest,
Who will lurk inside any desk it finds messed.
It lolls among comic books, coins, stinky socks,
Banana peels, paper wads, toys, and rocks.
It nibbles pencils, gnaw pens, and white glue it will slurp.
It chews chalk, chomps crayon, and ends with a burp.
It erases math answers, pops desktops an inch,
If you’re getting out paper, your nose it will pinch.
Warning! During reading be especially aware!
The pest might reach out to snap underwear.
So you’ve been warned kiddies of the Messy Desk Pest.
Let this be a lesson: NEVER LEAVE YOUR DESK MESSED!
🎼Here's the song Messy Desk Pest (video) Listen and watch
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Our School Secretary
Seven band-aids, a bloody nose,
Forgotten lunches, bright hellos,
Twisted ankles, Ritalin pills,
Five calls home, two orange juice spills.
A lost jacket, a stain to soak.
An ice packet, zipper that broke
Ripped pair of pants, some muddy shoes.
Dog in the hall, a purple bruise.
Cupcakes to class, lozenge for throat.
Two peeved parents, a tardy note.
Janitor found, a tummy ache.
Papers copied, announcements to make.
Our secretary has lots to do.
We think she helps our principal, too.
🎼Here's the song Our School Secretary (video) Listen and watch
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Class Pictures
In preschool I wore pigtails
Did I ever look that young?
And Joe stood in the front row,
Sticking out his tongue.
In first grade I stood in back.
Overnight my height had sprung,
And Joe stood in the front row,
Sticking out his tongue.
In fifth grade I wore blue jeans.
Past my shoulders my hair hung,
And Joe stood in the front row,
Sticking out his tongue.
In eighth grade I had pimples.
The braces on my teeth stung,
And Joe stood in the front row,
Sticking out his tongue.
In tenth grade I wore makeup.
My short skirt tightly clung,
And Joe stood in the front row,
Sticking out his tongue.
In my graduation picture,
I faced the future unsung,
But Joe still stood in the front row,
Sticking out his tongue.
🎼Here's the song Class Picture! (video) Listen and watch
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The Pledge
We pledge allegiance to the flag,
Above the whiteboard every day.
So why must we repeat ourselves?
Don’t teachers believe what we say?
🎼Here's the song The Pledge! (video) Listen and watch
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School Bored
Our classroom has a green chalkboard.
The next classroom has a white board.
The hall has a bulletin board.
And the playground has a backboard.
The art room has colored cardboard.
And the lunchroom has a chess board.
Sometimes I might go overboard.
So now I’m in detention very bored.
🎼Here's the song School Bored (video) Listen and watch
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Schoolwork Allergy
Doris had a bizarre disease.
When doing schoolwork she would sneeze.
“It’s just one of my allergies.
May I be excused--achoo!--please?”
Teacher asked for a doctor’s OK,
Which Doris brought in the next day.
So when teacher passed out work she’d say,
“Doris, you may go out and play.”
Doris would stand wearing a smirk,
She said, “I can’t touch this schoolwork.
My skin itches; my nose goes berserk.”
Then she’d hit the playground...that jerk.
“Doris is no dummy,” we all said,
With pages of work still not read,
So scratching ourselves toe to head.
We cried, “The allergy has spread!”
🎼Here's the song Math Rashes (video) Listen and watch
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Charge!
We watch the clock like crocodiles,
With recess as our feast.
We CHARGE! out the classroom door,
The second we're released.
We CHARGE! across the playground yard.
Favorite games resume,
But when we hear the whistle blow,
We CHARGE! back to our room.
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Field Trip
Today we toured an art museum.
Teacher said we learned much.
We saw expensive masterpieces,
And things we couldn’t touch.
We all enjoyed the art museum,
But the most fun for us,
Was singing songs and making faces,
Riding back on the bus.
🎼Here's the song The Field Trip Song (video) Listen and watch
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Doing the Homework Due Tomorrow
My book report is due tomorrow.
Mom calls me a procrastinator.
Although I have yet to choose a book,
I guess I will sooner or later.
Parents don’t know book reports have changed.
Who needs to read the book anymore?
Tonight before my report is due,
I’ll stream the film from an online store.
When Teacher Blew Her Top
We admit acting up a bit.
Our horseplay wouldn’t stop.
But still the whole class was impressed,
When teacher blew her top.
She sat calmly behind her desk.
Spot of pink on the chin.
Her tiny, white hands wrung in knots.
She wore an awkward grin.
As the volume in the room grew,
So did her round, red eyes.
Her eyebrows raised; her neck stretched tight.
Her cheeks tripled in size.
When three of us began to fight,
Bright sparks flew off her hair.
Puffs of steam spouted from her ears.
We saw her nostrils flare.
Spit balls set off the eruption.
Black smoke rose from her head.
The volcano smacked the ceiling,
And the mushroom cloud spread.
Rumbling rattled the windows.
The blast tore off the door.
We clung to our chairs and desktops,
As ash fell to the floor.
Before when teacher lost her cool,
She’d stomp, threaten, and fume,
But his time when she blew her top,
She blew up our whole room.
🎼Hear the song When Teacher Blew Her Top (video) Listen and watch
Zachary Zucchini
“Get in ABC order!” our teacher commands,
So poor Zach Zucchini is the last one who stands.
Zach’s the last to line up, and he’s last down the hall.
Zach’s last out to recess, never getting a ball.
Zach’s last in the lunchroom, so he gets the worst seat.
Zach’s left the worst milk carton and hot dog to eat.
Zach’s last to assemblies and must sit in the rear.
Zach never sees the speaker; he can never hear.
Zach’s turn is last for class duties and last to speak.
Zach’s last to get handouts and last Star of the Week.
So listen students with last names X, Y, or Z.
Avoid being last; switch to an “A” family.
🎼Here's the song Zach Zucchini (video) Listen and watch
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Last Day
Rah! Rah! Sis-boom-bah!
Hip! Hip! Hip! Hooray!
Ta-daaa! Ooo-la-laaa!
At last, the last day!
Va-va-voom! I’m free!
Adios! Hear! Hear!
Whoopee! Yessiree!
So long, long school year!
Welcome to summer.
Lazy days adored,
But what a bummer.
Already I’m bored.
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Cozy Up to the Whiteboard
WT Melon Publishing
poems from the Classroom at the End of the Hall
$5.99 70 pages paperback/e-book
Ages 7 and up ISBN 9781123259131
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